Yelling Kids

Last week we were walking out of Wal-Mart, and immediately heard the shrill cries of a boy around 5 years old. He wasn’t in any danger, he was mad at his dad who clearly was not giving him something he wanted. The dad was putting groceries away, glancing at his son with a mix of irritation, exasperation and learned helplessness…

I see this almost every time I’m at the store. Kids screaming, yelling, pouting… Parents many times seem oblivious, having long ago hit the “off switch,” sporadically shushing and snapping back “you stop it!”

I find it interesting to observe just how long things will go until the inevitable takes place – mom or dad GIVE IN, to everyone’s delight. Some times I want to give in for them, just so it will stop. Sad thing is the child is learning WHAT THEY WANT IS MOST IMPORTANT, and the way to get it is MANIPULATION.

Whatever happened to learning the virtues of respect, patience and “you don’t get everything you want”?? When I was growing up, yelling always got me something, but never what I wanted...

It is true when it comes to parenting (and most of life) the most loving thing to do is usually the hardest thing to do.

Methods of discipline have changed with the advent of more empathy and encouragement. Typically more love and understanding is a great addition! Sadly, discipline is all but missing from the equation. And discipline is what brings humility - prerequisite for maturing into the person God made us to be. As such, it is a sign of real love.

Check out these verses from Hebrews 12 (Message Version) “At the time, discipline isn't much fun. It always feels like it's going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it's the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.”

A few months ago my wife was reading a quote to me that blew me away. It was from William Law’s classic “A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life: the Spirit of Love.” If you want to take a few moments to ponder these words (and wade through the language differences from 1728), you might be blown away and motivated anew as I was.

The first temper that we try to awaken in children, is pride; as dangerous a passion as that of lust. We stir them up to vain thoughts of themselves, and do everything we can to puff up their minds with a sense of their own abilities. Whatever way of life we intend them for, we apply to the fire and vanity of their minds, and exhort them to everything from corrupt motives. We stir them up to action from principles of strife and ambition, from glory, envy, and a desire of distinction, that they may excel others, and shine in the eyes of the world. We repeat and inculcate these motives upon them, till they think it a part of their duty to be proud, envious, and vain-glorious of their own accomplishments.

And when we have taught them to scorn to be outdone by any, to bear no rival, to thirst after every instance of applause, to be content with nothing but the highest distinctions, then we begin to take comfort in them, and promise the world some mighty things from youths of such a glorious spirit.

And after all this, we complain of the effects of pride; we wonder to see grown men actuated and governed by ambition, envy, scorn, and a desire of glory; not considering that they were all the time of their youth called upon to all their action and industry, upon the same principles. You teach a child to scorn to be outdone, to thirst for distinction and applause; and is it any wonder that he continues to act all his life in the same manner? Now if a youth is ever to be so far a Christian, as to govern his heart by the doctrines of humility, I would fain know at what time he is to begin it: or, if he is ever to begin it at all, why we train him up in tempers quite contrary to it?

Haiti Trip

We flew into Port Au Prince a little over a week ago, with everyone craning their necks to see the city. I think almost everyone on the plane was there for some sort of relief work. Some had t-shirts marking the occasion, like “Village Community Church – Haiti Mission 2010.”

I was traveling with 7 other pastors, hosted by Convoy of Hope, the organization we had partnered with since the earthquake that had killed 220k and left 1 million homeless on January 12.

Back in January I did some research to make sure we partnered with someone in Haiti who could do effective work for the long haul. I found Quisqueya Chapel, a local church, had become a DAILY distribution point for Convoy of Hope, serving 4k meals, water, tarps, tents, hygiene kits, etc. I was powerfully impacted finding several old clips of Pastor Carl and Ann Olssen and the church faithfully serving and praying for Haiti and equipping people to follow Jesus. I hoped to meet them on this trip.

One of the most impacting stories we encountered was of Ernst, our security guard. In the earthquake Ernst had lost his 10-year-old daughter Gabrielle in the rubble. After frantically searching and yelling out her name he heard her cries from under the collapsed concrete and rebar. Ernst reassured her he would get her out, as they talked back and forth. He dug for 72 hours and finally pulled Gabrielle to safety.

We met Ernst at the airport along with the team from Convoy of Hope. He was surprised when we told him we’d read his story. He lit up at when we mentioned his daughter’s name and said “Yes, that’s my daughter!” (photo: Ernst at right, Kelo on left)

Traveling throughout Port Au Prince and surrounding remote villages in the mountains we saw so many desperate people. We visited several orphanages and schools (all connected with local churches). We got to talk to people, hear their stories and pray for them. The poverty rate was above 80% before the earthquake so you can imagine the scene of thousands standing around all day every day with nothing to do…

Ernst’s story symbolized to me what God is doing in Haiti (and in Colorado). His kids are trapped beneath the rubble of brokenness and separated from Him. Some of us don’t even know we are trapped. He is doing all He can to rescue us. He will not stop.

And if we have become “free” He is calling us to join Him on His rescue mission to others

Yes, I did get to meet Pastor Carl and thank him for the work he has faithfully done over the years. (photo: Carl on the right) He was so filled with joy. It was as though I was meeting a modern day hero - humble, unassuming, who has given his life to serve Jesus on His rescue mission.

We'll continue to send teams and resources to Haiti, as well as the other places we are working with in the world.

For more info on how you can be a part, connect with our Missions and Outreach Pastors Kenny and Carla Kneezle and/or go to our "support the mission" link on this website.